On not being a midwife....

Ok, so in my heart, I know I'm still a midwife, and I still get random questions, and I taught a pregnancy/birth class for one of the missionary kids here... but, for now... I've put away my gloves, and I'm just being "normal." Whatever that means... but, to me, part of it means not having my phone with me all the time... easier said than done. I've gotten SO used to keeping my phone with me 24/7.... under my pillow when I sleep, on top of my towel when I'm in the shower, that kind of thing. So now, I don't have it tucked into my pocket every moment of the day, but it is ALWAYS within hearing distance... One of the girls here texted me after a quick reply and said, if you need a text back, go to the lady of the house!! my reply was something about not being able to turn the midwife in me off. :-) So, here I sit, innocently blogging, playing on facebook, e-mailing... and my phone, my almost constant companion, sits right in front of me on the coffee table.

Really, I've felt it kind of a reprieve. I do like being a midwife. But, I'm not going to lie, it's hard being on call constantly. Though, having small children living in your house is like being on call constantly, too... but different. I miss the feeling of new life in my hands. I miss watching women become mothers. I miss watching men become fathers. But this season is also good. And I am enjoying taking care of this sweet--and silly-- little girl. :-)

This week we--I say "we" loosely... Jacinta had injections. Because when she came to us we had no information on her--none, no birthday, no health record, nothing-- the hospital had to restart her series of immunizations. So, she had to have the BCG again, and some others. It's been a tough week! But she woke up this morning in a really good mood!! yay! And she's been sleeping (on her own!!) for more than 20 minutes already, so I think we are in for a good day!

no words...

The problem has been... I haven't had words... I haven't had words for a long time, and as I sit here, just for a moment, to process, to think, to write... the tears start... and, perhaps that is what I was trying to avoid. But, here it goes....

We've been here for... 2 months, a little more... Africa has once again turned my world upside down. I would expect nothing less. We arrived on the 10th, tired, dirty, but with all our stuff!! And I once again settled in for the drive back to the place we would call home for the next 6 months. I don't remember too much from that drive, except that I had to go to the bathroom... the WHOLE time! Finally, I said something, totally expecting our driver to just pull over and let me go (a preferable option compared to most "public" bathrooms). But, he was intent on looking for a proper facility for me... We arrived, and slept... and then found out that one of the new babies that they had just had at the mission for a few days had fallen ill and died... within a day of us being here... Oh boy, you're back, Sar.... reminding me that death is as common as life in this place... In my first 2 or 3 days (I can't remember now) of being here, I had already been to my first funeral (of this trip). The sweet tiny peanut, hardly had a chance to get her feet wet on this earth, was already in the arms of her Father! It was sad, but, I was rejoicing for her, sweet girl!

We made routines here, Daniel at the school, me with the "juniors" who I have affectionately labeled "the littles." Then one day, I was not feeling well, so I stayed home for the day, Daniel came back with news. There was a new one! Jacinta. 4 months old. Very sad story. to compound the sadness, the women who take care of the littles weren't especially keen on the idea of having another. Especially one who was only 4 months old. The next youngest is close to a year old... It's a bit of an age gap. So I said... no worries, I'll take her to my house, get her adjusted to life without her mama (she died that day, I think). I told Daniel... "Don't get attached." I wasn't worried about me. There was no way I was going to get attached, I had already had my heart broken by one sweet Mozambican baby girl... not going to do it again... famous last words. Jacinta came to live with us on April 1. She's still here. She gives us so much joy. She takes all our sleep, most of our energy, and commands a HUGE hunk of our love. We are so blessed to have her for this time. The women are also pleased that we are keeping her over here, because they have found her troublesome. We have found her a joy.

Life moves on, life in Africa... We are learning our places here. We are preparing for the birth of our baby. We pray, we live, we serve, we love... Trying to show people who may not receive much love on earth, how desperately their Father in heaven loves them.