Do you know Christmas?

Do you know Christmas?

It’s Easter week, but bear with me for a moment. I always remember, that we can’t have the resurrection, without first having the birth of Christ.

During one of our last visits to the Missiao par Juventude, just outside Gondola, in September 2010, we were talking of plans to return to Mozambique, when one of the adults asked us if we planned to return before Christmas.

Katie’s (or Catarina’s - one of the small children) face quickly brightened into a large and excited smile, and she said ‘’Do you know Christmas?” I was laughing inside. A very small little Mozambican girl, asking an American, if they knew about Christmas….. If she only knew. I’ve not yet experienced a Christmas Celebration in Mozambique, but I have in the United States and other places, and I am assuming the two experiences to be very different.

For me, it was another reminder of how different things are in Africa (the want), and in the United States (the Excess - more on that later.)

I do wonder, how a small African child, who is familiar with an African style celebration of Christmas, would respond to what they see in an American style celebration of Christmas.

I thought the much more interesting question however was another way of asking the question ‘’Do you know Christmas” is “do you know Jesus?” Because ultimately, in knowing about Christmas, or ‘’knowing Christmas” we are talking about the story of Jesus, His birth, who He is, and why He came, and how that story fits into the story of God’s love for thousands of years before and after the history of what we have come to call ‘’Christmas.”

One Year Ago

April 1, 2012

One year ago today was one of those days that one is able to look back and say ‘’that was the day. That was the day everything changed.’’

April 1, 2011, Sarah and I had been in Mozambique for three weeks. It was a Friday afternoon, and I was helping some school children on the football (soccer) field at the Maforga school in Mozambique. One child ran up and said that the director wanted to see me right away.

I walked less than 100 yards, to where Trish Perkins was painting a sign on the wall of the school. She asked me, if Sarah and I would go over to the farm, about a mile away, and check on one of the new babies that had arrived about 90 minutes beforehand. I said certainly, and walked home, to let Sarah know that there was a new baby, news that is always strangely sad, yet exciting at the same time. Sad, simply because when the babies arrive there is the realization that poor circumstances have brought them there, and yet exciting, because there is hope that things will get better for these babies.

We drove the car up the bumpy road, parked and walked into the small buildings that are used to house the babies. I don’t know what my very first impressions were, but we were told the baby was four months old. She looked tired, scared and upset, but physically looked healthy and had been taken care of to that point in her life.

The baby was being fed, some sudza, a corn meal mush (not the best food for a four month old.) Sarah decided that we would take the baby home for one day, maybe the weekend, and make sure she didn’t have a cold or other sickness, that she could pass on to other babies, or that any of the other children didn’t have anything to pass on to this little baby.

We took her very small parcel of belongings, one drippy bottle, a small dirty ‘capulana’ wrap, and what she was wearing, a torn towel being used as a diaper. She was scared and uncertain, but we put her in the car, and drove her home.

I’m sure she cried a bit, but I don’t remember. I do remember that she was exhausted, and scared. We gave her a nice warm bath, and some formula, and then the exhausted little bundle fell asleep in my arms as I sat in a living room chair…..

It was then that I began to think. I’d already seen dozens of children in this context, and seen their smiling faces, and played with them and watched them in school and at work, but this one was so little, and so small and vulnerable. She had lost both of her parents in one day (perhaps in the previous 24 hours) through some very tragic circumstances.

I just sat there wondering ‘’what happened? ‘’who are you?’ ‘’What does God have planned for your life now?”

She was sound asleep, so I moved her to the bedroom so she could lay on the bed. I sat next to her, saying a little prayer, when Sarah walked in the room, looked at me and said ‘’don’t do it. Don’t fall for her’’ then she looked at me and said ‘’ It’s too late, isn’t it?’’

I don’t think I really understood the question at the time, so I don’t think I replied. But I understand the question and I know the answer now.

Early the next morning, Sarah woke up, and with another person, took this little baby into town, bought her some clothes to wear, new bottles, diapers, and some formula.

If you haven’t guessed by now, little Jacinta stayed with us longer than the weekend. She was younger by far than any of the other babies that were currently at the orphanage (none of the others required feedings at night) so it was better for her and for the other babies, if we kept her at our house, fed her and took care of her.

She was still scared and confused for several days, but by the end of the first week, Sarah had coaxed a small laugh and smile out of her. Over the next five months, this little girl brought so much joy, smiles and laughter to our little home.

In September, we returned to the U.S. and began working towards returning to Mozambique, to once again be part of Jacinta’s daily life, and a whole number of other children, from 0-7 years old, that have for now been left without the benefit of a mother and father to take care of them.

Some Milestones

If you are familiar with Sarah, and Sarah’s blog, then perhaps you have already heard, that she got married. Sarah and I met in January 2010, when I was visiting Florida for the first time. Our first connection was Africa, I was intrigued by her time spent in Malawi and Mozambique, and while I had a background of study about Africa, had never had the opportunity to go there.

We were married in July, 2010, and travelled together to Kenya, Malawi and Mozambique (along with Sarah’s mid-wifery partner Holly Findley) in September and October 2010. Our goal was very specifically to find a place to serve in a long term missions environment, be it school, orphanage, clinic or other environment.

Several doors seemed promising, but not exactly open, until we arrived at Maforga for a visit. Maforga is in the center of Mozambique, and has a long history of serving the people of the region, during times of war, drought, sickness, and everyday life for the past 25 years. The mission has seen good days, and some lean times, but consists of care for children (orphans), a school, a bible school, a church, a pastor training program.

We were invited to return to Maforga to fill in for Greg and Kim Hart, a family returning to Australia from March to September 2011. We did, and spent six months learning a host of things about the region, the mission, the people, the languages, and especially the needs. In addition, our baby daughter Hannah was born there at Maforga, in a beautiful home-birth.

We saw our time at Maforga as temporary, while keeping our eyes and hearts open to the possibility that we might be called to return to Maforga on a permanent basis.

For me, it wasn’t a difficult choice at all, even in light of some very obvious difficulties. The needs are so great in Mozambique, and the doors are open, and the opportunities are there to minister in a number of ways that are compatible with the gifts and experience that Sarah and I have.

By the end of our stay, we had arranged with the mission directors, Roy and Trish Perkins, to return, as soon as we are able, to provide leadership for the babies at Maforga (from 0-4 years old) and a group of younger boys, ages 5-7.

In addition to our daughter, we had the great pleasure of fostering another baby there, From April 1^st (I will never forget that day) until the time we left. Jacinta was a lovely little four month old baby when she arrived, that we were able to foster and care for and love, and feed and clothe and take care of her and watch her grow healthy, happy and strong. She brought an incredible amount of joy to our time there, and we are hoping to go back and be able to care for her again, as well as the dozen or so other little babies that are also currently at the mission.

A time to remember, a time to forget, part two

January 2, 2012

Another way of expressing the thought from yesterday:

Philippians 3: 7-14

‘’But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.’’

I have not been good, in my past, at letting go of hurts, wounds, attacks, and losses. In fact, I’ve more often kept the documentation that proves those hurts and losses, holding on to many things that I should have let go of long ago.

So whether it is related to forgiveness, and the fact that God has forgiven me so I need to forgive others, or, that sense of giving up to God, things that I do not need to hold on to any more, or one step further, even letting go of whatever things I once considered to be gains, I need to let it all go. All of it.

This has been a back and forth process for me, for a number of years. The past few weeks, while working through some backlogs of past work, I realized again, that I have been holding on to things I should not be holding on to, for reasons that are not positive. I am working my way through several of those situations, and am systematically working to eliminate the evidence that serves only as negative reminders for me of those situations.

I know for certain that as I get rid of these reminders, my natural forgetfulness will take over, and eventually my heart and soul will also forget, and I will not be hurt by these memories, because the reminders are gone.

This is what God does for us: Psalm 103:12 says ‘’ as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.’’

That is where I am at today. My hope is to write more about Maforga, and the children there, and our mission to be a part of the team there in Mozambique to help these children.

A time to remember, and a time to forget

January 1, 2012

Isaiah 43:18

‘’Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.’’

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Though the second passage above does not mention a time to remember, or a time to forget, other places in the Bible do mention those themes.

I am working on understanding the larger context of the verse in Isaiah above, and joining that together with verses such as the many times that Abraham built memorials, that were intended to be reminders of significant spiritual events in his life.

In this context I am bumbling through trying to understand the Old Testament concept of Herem or Cherem (in Isaiah 43:28) and trying to understand the dedication of certain things to God, without any possibility of return, and the destruction of those things, in the context of where I am today, New Year’s Day, 2012.

That will be the starting point for me, as Sarah and I work together to return to Mozambique this year to help the children and babies at the Maforga mission.

We will try and post some of our history of how we have arrived at where we are today, and some of what we understand of our future plans.

A time to remember, and a time to forget.

On not being a midwife....

Ok, so in my heart, I know I'm still a midwife, and I still get random questions, and I taught a pregnancy/birth class for one of the missionary kids here... but, for now... I've put away my gloves, and I'm just being "normal." Whatever that means... but, to me, part of it means not having my phone with me all the time... easier said than done. I've gotten SO used to keeping my phone with me 24/7.... under my pillow when I sleep, on top of my towel when I'm in the shower, that kind of thing. So now, I don't have it tucked into my pocket every moment of the day, but it is ALWAYS within hearing distance... One of the girls here texted me after a quick reply and said, if you need a text back, go to the lady of the house!! my reply was something about not being able to turn the midwife in me off. :-) So, here I sit, innocently blogging, playing on facebook, e-mailing... and my phone, my almost constant companion, sits right in front of me on the coffee table.

Really, I've felt it kind of a reprieve. I do like being a midwife. But, I'm not going to lie, it's hard being on call constantly. Though, having small children living in your house is like being on call constantly, too... but different. I miss the feeling of new life in my hands. I miss watching women become mothers. I miss watching men become fathers. But this season is also good. And I am enjoying taking care of this sweet--and silly-- little girl. :-)

This week we--I say "we" loosely... Jacinta had injections. Because when she came to us we had no information on her--none, no birthday, no health record, nothing-- the hospital had to restart her series of immunizations. So, she had to have the BCG again, and some others. It's been a tough week! But she woke up this morning in a really good mood!! yay! And she's been sleeping (on her own!!) for more than 20 minutes already, so I think we are in for a good day!

no words...

The problem has been... I haven't had words... I haven't had words for a long time, and as I sit here, just for a moment, to process, to think, to write... the tears start... and, perhaps that is what I was trying to avoid. But, here it goes....

We've been here for... 2 months, a little more... Africa has once again turned my world upside down. I would expect nothing less. We arrived on the 10th, tired, dirty, but with all our stuff!! And I once again settled in for the drive back to the place we would call home for the next 6 months. I don't remember too much from that drive, except that I had to go to the bathroom... the WHOLE time! Finally, I said something, totally expecting our driver to just pull over and let me go (a preferable option compared to most "public" bathrooms). But, he was intent on looking for a proper facility for me... We arrived, and slept... and then found out that one of the new babies that they had just had at the mission for a few days had fallen ill and died... within a day of us being here... Oh boy, you're back, Sar.... reminding me that death is as common as life in this place... In my first 2 or 3 days (I can't remember now) of being here, I had already been to my first funeral (of this trip). The sweet tiny peanut, hardly had a chance to get her feet wet on this earth, was already in the arms of her Father! It was sad, but, I was rejoicing for her, sweet girl!

We made routines here, Daniel at the school, me with the "juniors" who I have affectionately labeled "the littles." Then one day, I was not feeling well, so I stayed home for the day, Daniel came back with news. There was a new one! Jacinta. 4 months old. Very sad story. to compound the sadness, the women who take care of the littles weren't especially keen on the idea of having another. Especially one who was only 4 months old. The next youngest is close to a year old... It's a bit of an age gap. So I said... no worries, I'll take her to my house, get her adjusted to life without her mama (she died that day, I think). I told Daniel... "Don't get attached." I wasn't worried about me. There was no way I was going to get attached, I had already had my heart broken by one sweet Mozambican baby girl... not going to do it again... famous last words. Jacinta came to live with us on April 1. She's still here. She gives us so much joy. She takes all our sleep, most of our energy, and commands a HUGE hunk of our love. We are so blessed to have her for this time. The women are also pleased that we are keeping her over here, because they have found her troublesome. We have found her a joy.

Life moves on, life in Africa... We are learning our places here. We are preparing for the birth of our baby. We pray, we live, we serve, we love... Trying to show people who may not receive much love on earth, how desperately their Father in heaven loves them.